I wrote a piece to mark 9 years since Mam passed away back in June. Hard to think it is 9 years since Mam came home from work and within minutes was battling to stay alive. My reason for penning this particular piece is to give a warts and all view from my perspective of that day and the time since.
Next Sunday evening at 6.40pm, I will mark the exact moment that Mam suffered her brain injury that 3 days later took her from her family at the age of 49. In the time since Mam passed away, life has changed. I am out on my own and I am writing and hoping to go back recording soon.
The biggest change for me is that I am fully in control of my life and that is what Mam always wanted. I look at myself and think back to the time 9 years ago and I can see a very different person looking back at me when I look at the mirror.
The events of that evening have had a lasting impact both positive and negative but with professional support as well as the loyal support of many people, I have managed to create a life for myself.
It hasn’t all been plain sailing, I give off the impression that nothing ever affected me when in fact things were on top of me for a large portion of the past few years but thank god that has all began to turn over recent years and I can see the light.
I know I can be an awkward fella but I never set out to be that way, I am trying very hard to change but like with most habits it is hard to change from what is drilled into my head. As I say I am working hard to complete that particular change to my personality.
I want to say to anyone that may have fallen out with friends or family over the past while, If you feel it might be worth fighting for that relationship, do so because life can change in an instant. Take it from someone who bought that t shirt. Fix it now and try to move forward….
I will also apologise to anyone now, if I seem distracted from next Sunday until the following Wednesday. While time has passed and things have gotten easier with the passage of time, certain moments are still very fresh in my mind….
The level of support I continue to receive from people who do it quietly and without fuss won’t ever be forgotten. I can’t thank those people enough for what they have done for me and continue to do. I will continue to live my life the way I see fit and if that doesn’t suit people then tough….
I have always tried to do my best for people and to be there for people if they needed someone. I will continue to be that listening ear if anyone needs someone to listen… For that small group of people who still look out for yours truly, thank you all from the bottom of my heart !!!
To Mam, its 9 years since you left this world but your influence on me continues to this very day…. Look after yourself wherever you are and thank you for everything……