Having signed up for the Pieta House Darkness into Light Walk that will take place on May 7th at 4.15am here in Tarbert I have spent much of my time in recent days reflecting on my journey.
I know some of the issues that have surrounded this walk nationally due to questions surrounding funds being given out has caused much discussion and anger but I suppose the walk on Saturday May 7th is about just supporting those like myself who in the past have contemplated ending our lives but I thank my lucky stars that I am still here and can say with real conviction I would not be here only for the intervention of my late mother and a first cousin of mine.
I have seen in the years since my attempt to end my life what impact actual suicides have done to families and those close to the person who has chosen to end his or her life.
It certainly is not the answer but in my experience I do think that the person who is contemplating ending their life that they feel this course of action would solve all the apparent issues that may or not be happening. I certainly thought this way myself in 2014 and it’s only now I truly see that thinking this way is so harmful.
I write this piece trying to say to anyone that might suffering that you should go to someone you trust and explain your situation if you can of course. I have gotten better at this, still not 100% at it but getting much better.
I had a moment a few weeks ago when I was down the island and standing on the pier that 8 years ago I had planned to jump off of and for a split second I was back in that moment in March 2014 and then as quick as the thought arrived it left me….
I spoke to a friend about this and we worked out that it was only a moment !! I do my best to be a listening ear for people if they are willing to open up, which I know can be so hard to do…. I have no formal training but I have been that person that was struggling and didn’t know what to do next and managed to find a way to help myself out. I am still learning as the years move on but with age comes experience.
Look what I am saying is that the walk on Saturday May 7th is an option for people to get out and show support for a cause that has impacted every community across Ireland. It’s a situation that continues to cause families and those suffering in silence real and genuine torment. There is light at the end of the tunnel take it from one who went to the edge on more than one occasion and thankfully I saw the light and also I owe those two family members I mentioned earlier my life….
Look after yourselves and I might see some of you on May 7th at 4.15am…