Amazing how or when an idea will strike you for an article, I wrote about the fact Mam is 10 years gone earlier in the year but for some reason I was prompted to write this piece by a moment or a quote from an Killinskully episode I watched in the past few days.
Fionn got married a few weeks ago and that also probably played a part in me penning this 2nd piece as we heard for Mam’s 10th anniversary on September 10th. God only knows why I am writing but I am and like the other pieces I have written to mark each anniversary I will speak from my own perspective and see what happens.
10 years ago our family of 4 was moving along and then in a split second all was changed, changed utterly. I have certainly learned many life lessons in that time since 6.40pm on September 7th 2016. I know who I can count on and I now know those who I need to keep clear of and take no heed if anything is said in my direction.
My mother was a tough woman who didn’t mind speaking her mind if it was required and even if it wasn’t she did it anyway. She had a temper and that specific tone only known to an “Irish Mammy”
We clashed several times over a number of things over the years and as I look back now, I know I was wrong a share of the time when I clashed with her over moving out for example or driving lessons etc to name 2 topics that were regularly broached but me being me went straight for stubborn and I am not going to listen or engage here in any way shape or form.
10 years on, I am approaching 3 years of independence and the driving matters will be delt with in my own time. What that evening in September 2016 has taught me is that things can change so suddenly and quickly and you may not have the opportunity to say what you might want to say so take that chance over the next while to sit down if you can and say what you want to say.
Mother worked hard in Listowel in Neodata and O Connors and is still fondly remembered by many in Listowel. I can testify to that having spent so much time in Listowel in the past 10 years in particular. I said she was tough and had a temper but under it all she did have a heart of gold and did many things for many people quietly and without fuss.
To anyone who has lost a parent or loved one since 2016, you have my sympathy. I won’t lie, I have gone through many different stages of grief since 2016, I have done self pity, anger, frustration, torment, anguish.
I have had the help of many people over the years, Fr Pat Moore RIP, a number of counsellors, family, a group of women who I won’t embarrass but all of them picked me up a different times and in some instances helped me straighten myself because as people might know I can be quite stubborn, what a surprise I hear people saying….
I tried to end my life shortly after Mam died in December 2016 but I was stopped and Mikey Joe Coolahan was the man on that evening who helped me see things more clearly. Thank you Mikey Joe for that.
It is almost 10 years since Anne Marie Mc Gibney nee Keane left this world and that moment her life support machine was switched off is a moment I can still see so clearly. She donated her organs as well so a number of people were able to keep their lives going after several successful transplants were completed. That sums my mother up perfectly, constantly giving in life and even in death she was still thinking of others. If I turn into half the man my mother though I might do, I’ll be doing well….
To Mam’s many friends and work colleagues and extended family, Thank you all and I will continue to try and call to see as many of you as I can….. Mam we might be marking 10 years in September since you died but you might be gone but you are not forgotten.